Society V.S Originality
Have you ever changed something about yourself because of something someone else said or believed?
If you are human and have emotions the answer is YES! At some point in our lives we have changed our looks, thoughts, good choice, and even beliefs and morals because of someone or something that has a huge influence in our lives.
Let’s be honest...
More times than not just this morning we allowed something to change what we had originally planned for the day!
For me I allowed my thoughts to change my actions and beliefs. I allowed my thoughts to take refuge and alter my actions... I thought if I cursed this person out I would get some type of cool points! I thought it would make me “Hood” enough for those around me. Often times I hid the fact that I was Christian!
Oh snap it just got real!!!
I am not saying I walked around saying I’m not Christian, but I didn’t walk around saying that I was nor did my behavior reflect it either. I often found myself trying to fit in with my friends who weren’t Christian because in my head being Christian was a MINORITY and I wanted to be apart of the MAJORITY!!
I have always tried to figure out where I fit in... I was considered too black to hang with the white girls I saw and then the way I spoke and carried myself was considered “too white” to hang with the black girls!
In my Stephanie Tanner voice “How Rude!”
How could talking proper and walking with class be “white”?
I spent all of high school dealing with identity confusion, self- esteem issues, and soo much more!
All while dealing with this never once did I stop and say “God I need your help to guide me through this time” instead I relied on myself the person who didn’t even know who she was, so how was she supposed to guide me through this?!
Flash Forward to today....
I made the decision to rely on God instead of myself! I wrote out EVERYTHING! From my darkest thoughts, fears, insecurities, past and present sins. Although he knew everything I’ve gone through and was currently going through, but just confessing to God and just having conversations with him brings such release!
Instead of trying to write my own story I gave the pen to God. I wanted him to write the story he had planned because I knew he would never steer me wrong!
I no longer cared about fitting in! I no longer cared about losing those people in my life! I would rather walk this road alone with God by my side than to walk with those people and be without him!
Listen!! When I tell you that was the best decision I have ever made! I went from wanting to end my life to wanting to live a life pleasing to him and serving his people. I went from not mentioning his name to now I can’t spend one minute not talking about him and singing his praises!!
God make ALL things NEW!!
