Surrounded
This can’t be happening!!
These past few months have been a learning experience for sure, but these past few weeks is where it seems like I hit rock bottom!
As I was finally getting back to being “normal” regrouping from this past month of doing self reflection and processing through insecurity and identity issues...
Things started to change and life felt DARK!
I had to make the hardest decision of giving up something that I have wanted since I was a little girl which was a career in ministry...
I felt like it was the right thing to do to realign with God, putting Him first, and to rediscover who I am and whose I am!
I felt as though I was losing everyone around me that I care about and I didn’t know why or how to fix it...
Then I was blessed with the opportunity to do what I love, that has saved my life which is singing, and then Covid happened and I had to quarantine for two weeks and now that was gone too!
Talk about Grieving!
If I’m being completely honest, I have cried everyday for two weeks straight, and if I sit and really think about everything instead of writing I would be crying now!
I always thought when a person was grieving it was due to losing a loved one, but now I have learned that there many ways a person can grieve and many reasons a person can grieve and it does not have to be due to a person passing away.
It was in these moments of loss and loneliness that I was reminded of something...
I was reminded that sometimes you have to take a step back to appreciate what’s in front of you!
Also, sometimes you have to walk out some things alone to depend on God even more!
It hasn’t been easy, but I am grateful to know that he will always be there through those ups and downs!
Although physically I feel alone, I know that God has me surrounded and will continue to surround me!
Psalms 40:1-3
“I waited and waited and waited some more, patiently, knowing God would come through for me. Then, at last, he bent down and listened to my cry. He stooped down to lift me out of danger from the desolate pit I was in, out of the muddy mess I had fallen into. Now he’s lifted me up into a firm, secure place and steadied me while I walk along his ascending path. A new song for a new day rises up in me every time I think about how he breaks through for me! Ecstatic praise pours out of my mouth until everyone hears how God has set me free. Many will see his miracles; they’ll stand in awe of God and fall in love with him!”
